If you believe it will give you chills

So some of you may or may not believe in this kind of stuff, but for me I do. Ever since my Grandpa died many many years ago all of our family would find random pennies around....even places that we had just been in our house or such, that we knew he was thinking about us and near us. It has been going on for years. When my grandma was dying and in her final last days and no longer communicating with us, my mom was talking to her and made a joke that when she(my grandma) finally passes away, she better send us Quarters instead of a tiny penny and we all laughed about it, but who knows if my grandma even knew we were there at that point. Well not long after she passed, my uncle who does not believe in this stuff, walked out of his building at work and on a tree planter right in front of him, lay a penny and a quarter. To us a sign that my grandma and grandpa were back together again, and they knew to go to the non believer 1st. I think in a way, it made him believe. Then lets jump to today. Julie has been going to a Vacation Bible School at the Lutheran Church close to our house and loving every minute of it. When my grandma was alive she would always get on me about the kids and learning about god and being baptised and all that. I never did any of it because my husband is Jewish and we agreed that we will allow our children to choose the religion they would like when they get older. Anyhow, back to camp. This week my mom and I have said how proud grandma would be about Julie going to this camp and today Julie got in the car and said to me, "Mom, we went outside to do an activity today and then when we came back inside to our seats, there was a quarter where I was sitting...." , okay so I got chills and said do you know who that is from and she said, "Big MAMA, leaves quarters", then she goes onto tell me that they went into another room for snack and she sat down and right beside her sat 2 pennies..." , okay now I was crying....a sign that my grandma and grandpa are right there with her and I am sure grandma aka BIG MAMA is beaming with pride.

Two weeks in

Well I have made it 2 weeks with my injury...and every day I think it gets a tiny bit better and then the next I will have a step back so I guess you could say two steps forward and one step back. Went to see the orthopedist last week and although I did a heck of a job injuring my leg...tore my MCL and the ligaments holding the left side of my knee cap, at this time it doesnt look like I need surgery to repair that part of the equation. They say that it should form scar tissue and begin to heal but it will take 6-8wks. That is the part that is killing me. After it is healed they may have to go into my knee and tighten the ligaments on one side and loosen them on the other but they wont know that until after. Hopefully my kneecap will go back to its rightful place. I guess it didnt like being dislocated....

So I am getting around in a huge, hot knee brace and a crutch and that is the depressing part....I want to be able to get down and play with my kids, not lay in bed and rest my leg...I know in the big picture it is a short time, but from where I am now, 6 weeks seems like forever.

Dont need to say much in this one

Torn MCL along with several other ligaments...dislocated kneecap, will continue to swell until fixed due to the constant trauma of knee floating. Great....going to require surgery and at least 12 week recovery.....now I am really depressed.....but what can I do...

Pain, pain, and more pain

Let me start off by saying I have a whole lot in my life to be thankful for and enjoy. That being said,I think this leg injury may just kill me. Short of the time when I broke my back. This is constant pain 24/7. Nothing helps just maybe takes the edge off. I am beyond miserable. I cannot move without pain. My leg and ankle and foot is so swollen it hurts. If I move the wrong way, my kneecap slips out of the socket and that is a whole different kind of pain. IT will be a week tomorrow and I guess I expected some sort of relief.....it takes me almost 5 minutes to get from my bed to the bathroom in my bedroom.....I dont know what I am looking for here.....but someone throw me a bone.

Feeling sad and lost

I know we all have times when sometimes life feels like it sucks....now dont get me wrong. I love my family and I am a very blessed person. On the flipside of that story, I have a huge amount of regrets in my life and they just wear on me and drag me down. My house seems to always be in a state of chaos....it bothers me and depresses me which causes an endless circle. A lot of the time, I have no motivation to do anything about it because in less then 10 minutes it will be back where it started. Not a good way to be that is for sure. Also my husband is great with money, me not so much. I like to shop and there are times I buy things that may not be needed but then I expect money to be there for projects and trips and such....then it isnt which is all my fault. That also wears on me more then anyone can imagine. For my sanitiy IT needs to change. I feel that because of all this, it adds more stress which doesnt make me a very good mother or wife....I wish I could snap my fingers and the people from clean house could come and make it all go away. To me, I look at the big picture and all I see in front of me is a huge mountain that I cannot climb, so why even try. I can't look at the small one because the big one is too monumental in size. Here lies the problem, change......it has to happen now....but how to start without getting overwhelmed and wanting to quit. We will see where this road leads in the coming weeks. Maybe having it all out in the open is my first huge step to sucess.

Oh man, do I need a nap and a drink

Today was CRAZY....crazy busy. I got home for the first time at 3:30 after leaving at 8:30 and it has been non stop go ever since. Let see here is how my day went.

9:00 Swim lessons for Kaitlyn
10:25 pick up Julie from school
11:45 Kaitlyn appt with GI dr, who was running 45 minutes late so we had to hurry since we were 45 minutes away from
1:30 Kaitlyn speech therapy
2:30 Julie Riding lesson

so now I am home and my day continues

3:45 Girls in bath getting hair washed
4:15? Drain backyard pond and collect fish to give away
6:00 meet lady with Koi to give to her
6:30 Dinner at Red Hawk....

I am already so tired.....

So to update everything Kaitlyn is going to be flushed out again since her belly is distended and she needs to poop(mom and dad have sucked at giving her meds lately, so we have to back track). Then we are going to start her back on daily laxatives. Meanwhile, I have to take her to the lab for blood work(so not looking forward to that) because her belly has so much distention that her Dr wants to make sure it is not Celiac disease and she also wants to check her Thyroid. She started her 1st session with the speech therapist now that all the testing is done and hopefully that will go well. She is also in swim class and doing great.

As for Julie, school is almost over and now we are trying to figure out what camps to put her in for the summer...the fun just keeps on going.

This n' That

So it has been awhile since I have written so this is just going to be random ramblings about all the happenings going on. Julie has been playing softball and riding horses and seems to be having a lot of fun. I cannot believe that she is almost done with kindergarten and will soon be a 1st grader, man does time fly. Both girls will be starting soccer in August so that should also be a lot of fun. Kaitlyn is getting better everyday and so very smart. I took her to a speech therapist the other day because sometimes she gets harder for me to understand. So during her evalutation her therapist said that she could benefit from speech therapy but thinks what is happening is that she is very smart because she makes much longer sentances then 4 yrs old do, so things get jumbled up and she switches some of her letters and leaves some of her sounds off of the end. She starts therapy on Monday. I am going away on a girls weekend for mothers day so I am looking forward to that and it will give daddy some bonding time with his girls. We have a busy busy week after that, 2 days in LA, then 3 days of camping......I am hardly going to be home....lol. Should be a lot of fun though.