Coping

Coping with a chronic disease sucks. People think that because I dont look sick that I am fine. God I wish that were the case. Try to explain what a day in my life is like and people are like yeah right, whatever. It is not that I want sympathy, just a little understanding sometimes. The worst part of this is the fatigue. There is no way to even describe it because you wouldnt believe me. I wasnt a believer when an old boss of mine had Chronic Fatigue...I would think, how can someone be that tired when they lay in bed all day. Let me tell you, from the time that I wake up in the morning, I have about an hour where I am not tired. After that it feels like I havent slept in 3 days, like my legs are lead weights that I am trying to move with each step. The smallest task feels like I am trying to climb mount Everest. Yet I push on because what choice do I have. Then on the days when my Lupus "flares", pain encircles my joints. Mainly my hands, arms, back, and legs. It hurts to drive the car, brush my teeth, take medicine and have to open the bottle to do so. Yet I try. Then on Mondays when I take my really strong medicine, I am flu like sick for 24 hours....sounds like fun huh....not to mention that because all of this goes on during the day, when I try to lay down at night to sleep, I get restless leg syndrome and I have to take a muscle relaxer or it will take me over an hour to fall asleep. So many things trigger my Lupus to make it worse. Sunlight....can make it flare...how fair is that?? There are days that I am so tired of fighting and being tired and in pain, but then I try to think there are people that are worse off then me. So next time you meet someone or have a friend with a chronic illness, even though they may seem fine...ask them if there is anything you can do for them, or just let them know you are there if they need anything....believe me, it would make a world of difference!