Well the CDC way isn’t how my test was done🤬

So in light of my test results that came back negative, yet I still have a fever and don’t feel well I was looking up the test practices of how it should be done. And of course everywhere that I read says that both sides of the nostril should be swabbed. Of course they only did one side of mine and that was a side that they already rub the swab around earlier for a flu specimen so now I am wondering did they really get an accurate test? Or did the flu swab beforehand remove whatever they were looking for? Or do I really not have it? So do I feel any more relief right now, not really I’ve even attached the page from the CDC that says how to do the swab, highlighted below!!

Hopeful good news

Well my test results came back early and they showed a negative result which is good, so I am hopefully optimistic that I do not have covid. It even says directly on the test that are negative result does not rule out Covid19, with that being said, I still have a fever, headache, cough and today have nausea so I was told that even though it came back negative does not mean you don’t have it. 30% false negative rate at lest they are seeing due to multiple factors. So keep those good thoughts coming ....we passed the first marker!!!

Fever started /Day 1

Day 2 update

Reflections

Struggeling with a chronic illness is not fun, it is a rarity in my life to have a great day.. With that being said, I would love to have a neat and clean and organized house, the reality is I don't...with that being said, I dont invite many people over for fear of judgement, but lets look deeper at that. How can anyone judge someone who has not walked in there shoes. I used to be guilty of this until things in my life changed. I dont know how many days or years I have left in front of me and that has made me change my way of thinking. I want my children to remember me for being an involved mom. That is why I push myself to drive to soccer, softball, swimming, and even though I may be so tired I can barely move because of my illness, I push through..so the house gets left behind because I have left my last ounce of energy with my kids and seeing their happy faces makes me know that I made the right choice. It is lonely dealing with being sick because no one can imagine what and how you feel if they have not experinced it. So just for today I ask, before you judge someone take a minute to think we dont really know what is going on in their life. Maybe they have a family member that is sick and they are taking care of, maybe their spouse is having an affair, maybe they dont know how they are going to pay that next bill, or maybe just maybe like me they look normal on the outside, but inside they are in pain and always tired. So instead of judging someone, try to smile and accept them because you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Coping

Coping with a chronic disease sucks. People think that because I dont look sick that I am fine. God I wish that were the case. Try to explain what a day in my life is like and people are like yeah right, whatever. It is not that I want sympathy, just a little understanding sometimes. The worst part of this is the fatigue. There is no way to even describe it because you wouldnt believe me. I wasnt a believer when an old boss of mine had Chronic Fatigue...I would think, how can someone be that tired when they lay in bed all day. Let me tell you, from the time that I wake up in the morning, I have about an hour where I am not tired. After that it feels like I havent slept in 3 days, like my legs are lead weights that I am trying to move with each step. The smallest task feels like I am trying to climb mount Everest. Yet I push on because what choice do I have. Then on the days when my Lupus "flares", pain encircles my joints. Mainly my hands, arms, back, and legs. It hurts to drive the car, brush my teeth, take medicine and have to open the bottle to do so. Yet I try. Then on Mondays when I take my really strong medicine, I am flu like sick for 24 hours....sounds like fun huh....not to mention that because all of this goes on during the day, when I try to lay down at night to sleep, I get restless leg syndrome and I have to take a muscle relaxer or it will take me over an hour to fall asleep. So many things trigger my Lupus to make it worse. Sunlight....can make it flare...how fair is that?? There are days that I am so tired of fighting and being tired and in pain, but then I try to think there are people that are worse off then me. So next time you meet someone or have a friend with a chronic illness, even though they may seem fine...ask them if there is anything you can do for them, or just let them know you are there if they need anything....believe me, it would make a world of difference!

33 on Thursday

Wow, on Thursday I will turn 33 years old. How time flies. As I look back upon my life I feel humble to have all that I do. It has been a wild ride along the way, but even those things that were hard and almost killed me have made me a better person today. As I approach this birthday, I have a different respect for things and maybe even a new perspective. Maybe because I have been ill, but with Lupus you never know how long you may have left in life so I am trying to make the best of every day that I do have left knowing that I am lucky to still be around. Life isnt easy but worth the ride. Losing my father when I was just a teenager was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through to this day. I miss him and think of him every single day.
I was lucky to have found a husband who is just like my daddy was. He is caring, loving, supportive, and understanding(even when I am being selfish and difficult). He is my rock, my support, and my best friend. He has made my life better then I ever imagined and blessed me with 2 wonderful kids, a nice house, nice things, putting up with my many pets...(lol). I tend to get caught up in the drama sometimes of things I dont have that others do(lets face it, I was an only child) and he is always that positive voice to ground me again and I thank him for that. I know that I am truly blessed and "things" do not buy happiness. I have friends who have everything, but not a great marriage or they have problem kids etc....I finally feel in my life like I have it all.
My kids are wonderful with big huge hearts and although they may bicker and argue and stress me out at times, I know it is all a part of them growing up and I embrace every little moment..before I know it they will be all grown up and not wanting to hang out with mom...
Speaking of Mom's I have the best. She is the most unselfish and caring, giving person that anyone could ever meet. She has always been my best friend and my family and I are truley blessed and spolied by all that she does for us. She is strong, stronger then I ever could be and has been through a lot in life but never lets it get her down. She embraces life and it shows.
To my few really close friends I thank you for putting up with all of my weaknessess and sticking by me. You know who you are and you will always be near and dear to my heart.
I am also lucky to have a wonderful set of in-laws. So many people can't stand to be around their in-laws but I can truley say I love mine and I am so lucky to be welcomed into their family.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know that I am finally at peace with my life and that I have all I need to be happy. Life is a journey and I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride......lets hope for another 33 great years......!!